The Only Acceptable Response to a Kansas Joke

When you tell people you are from Kansas, they often respond with some pretty stupid comments. Among the worst are those derived from "The Wizard of Oz." It is never funny. Rob Riggle (The Daily Show) demonstrates that for us here on The Jeannie Tate Show, which is quite funny in its own right. I would definitely recommend checking out the other episodes.

Anyway, around 4:53 into this thing the shit goes down. Riggle provides a textbook response.



HT: UCBcomedy.com

Dangers of Kansas

After my recent post about the nature of tornadoes in Kansas, I decided that it would be a good kickoff to a new series: Dangers of Kansas. This series will cover a broad range of topics - from natural occurrences to human events.

A notable problem associated with the human population in Kansas is a psychological disorder, most commonly known as "flatland hysteria." Several other terms are frequently used, such as "the plain crazies," and "prairie madness." However, the modern usage of "prairie madness" should not be confused with past usages, such as the one described here.

Today, this illness usually manifests itself in one of two ways:

• The first is an intense, euphoric mania. It is characterized by severely blurred vision, rosacea, and an almost total inability to sleep or stop vibrating.
• The second involves more of a stupor. It is accompanied by apocalyptic visions, unhappy orifice, and of course, excessive number three.
  

The illness appears to some degree in around 20% of the Kansas population. However, this number has been on a steady rise over the past 30 years, and it has researchers concerned. Some evolutionary biologists have suggested that the modern form of of flatland hysteria is a genetic artifact of the original prairie madness, as historically, those who were considered the most "mad," were also those who were most likely to risk the long venture across the vast, deadly wasteland to find a mate. No matter what the origins of the illness, there can be no doubt that it poses a serious threat to the political, economic, and human health of the State of Kansas.

Tornadoes are no joke.

I know that it is very fashionable these days to joke about tornadoes. I hear kids at the mall throwing around the term "F5" like it means nothing at all. Well it does mean something - just ask anyone from Kansas (as am I). Kansans face the threat of deadly tornadoes every single day of their lives. For many residents, it isn't financially feasible to live in a solid-frame house. The constant devastation has driven many poor dirt-farmers to simply live in cheap tee-pees, pitched directly over the entrance to a deep underground tornado shelter. Most Kansans will spend roughly 35% of their lives in some sort of tornado shelter - or will die trying to get there. So, the next time you hear someone make some flippant comment about tornadoes, you set them straight. You tell them: Tornadoes are no joke.